A viral post by Oendrila Kapoor, founder of The Date Crew, has reignited debate over caste and income preferences in modern Indian marriages. On LinkedIn, Kapoor shared an interaction with a 32-year-old fashion entrepreneur from a well-educated family. The woman's father is an IPS officer, and her mother is a teacher. Despite this progressive background, the woman's expectations for a partner were highly specific. She said that she would only consider "upper caste" matches, particularly Brahmins or Rajputs. "She wanted Upper Caste Matches only unless the guy earned 80 LPA or more. This was told to me by a 32 year old who runs her own fashion label. On paper, she comes from a very progressive and educated family with her father, an IPS officer and mother working as a teacher. And yet this is the only condition that she put in front of us: Brahmins, Rajputs, upper caste profiles only," Kapoor wrote. The woman added that she might be open to marrying outside...
A viral post by Oendrila Kapoor, founder of The Date Crew, has reignited debate over caste and income preferences in modern Indian marriages. On LinkedIn, Kapoor shared an interaction with a 32-year-old fashion entrepreneur from a well-educated family. The woman's father is an IPS officer, and her mother is a teacher. Despite this progressive background, the woman's expectations for a partner were highly specific. She said that she would only consider "upper caste" matches, particularly Brahmins or Rajputs.
"She wanted Upper Caste Matches only unless the guy earned 80 LPA or more. This was told to me by a 32 year old who runs her own fashion label. On paper, she comes from a very progressive and educated family with her father, an IPS officer and mother working as a teacher. And yet this is the only condition that she put in front of us: Brahmins, Rajputs, upper caste profiles only," Kapoor wrote.
The woman added that she might be open to marrying outside these castes, but only if the prospective groom earned Rs 80 lakh per annum or more.
"In metro cities, among educated families, caste bias works through avoidance, through “this is how it is done”, through “hume hamari caste me hi shaadi karni hai.” But it isn't. Because what she was actually saying is: caste matters unless money compensates for it," Kapoor noted.
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Kapoor noted that such filters are common in matchmaking, with many clients still prioritising caste at the very start of their search.
"That's not about values or compatibility. That's about social rank. And money buys rank. So the math works. We sit in big cities, call ourselves progressive, and then open matrimonial apps and filter by caste. If you want to break the cycle, it starts with one uncomfortable conversation with your parents. Tell them you're not filtering on the basis of caste," she added further.
The post quickly went viral, sparking intense reactions online. Many users highlighted the contradiction between modern education and continued reliance on caste hierarchies. Others remarked that wealth can sometimes override caste boundaries, turning marriage into a more transactional decision.
One user wrote, "Indian marriages, especially arranged marriages, are just a transaction. It always has been and probably always will be."
Another said, "It always was! Marrying for love is a relatively new concept even in the West. In India, marriage remains in the traditional framework - of merging two families based on religion, caste, wealth, lineage, etc. Love marriage is still a utopia and is supported by a miniscule minority."
A third stated, "Finding true love was the point… somewhere it got replaced by caste and CTC."
Some argued that breaking these patterns requires difficult conversations within families. Meanwhile, some defended the woman's stance, saying individuals are entitled to set their own preferences, even if they are controversial.
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